Batman's Egg Filled Adventure
by Windrises
Summary: Batman tries to stop Egghead from stealing the new grocery store's eggs.


Note: Batman is not owned and created by me. This story is dedicated to William Dozier, Adam West, and Vincent Price.

Bruce Wayne was in his mansion and was watching TV. Bruce said "Wow. This show is so good."

Alfred Pennyworth entered the room and said "The bat phone rang Master Wayne."

Bruce picked up the phone and asked "What's going on Commissioner Gordon?"

Commissioner Gordon replied "Egghead escaped yesterday."

Bruce said "That's bad. How did he escape this time?"

Commissioner Gordon replied "We're not sure. Somehow he got the keys to get out."

Chief O'Hara said "I accidentally dropped the keys in his cell."

Commissioner Gordon said "I'm sorry about this big mistake Batman."

Bruce replied "Don't worry. Do you have any idea where Egghead will be?"

Commissioner Gordon replied "Well there is a new grocery store in the city that has a whole aisle of eggs."

Bruce said "Then I'll go there in case that egg loving criminal shows up." Bruce hanged up the phone and said "Since Robin is in college it's up to me to defend Gotham by myself."

Alfred said "I believe in you Master Wayne."

Bruce stated "Thank you Alfred. I better get going. I have a crime to boil like a hard boiled egg." Bruce used the bat pole to go into the Bat Cave and get on his Batman costume. Batman got into the Batmobile and started driving to the new grocery store.

20 minutes later Batman arrived at the grocery store. Batman walked inside. 1 of the grocery store employees said "Oh hi Batman. I'm a big fan of you. Do you need any help?"

Batman replied "Thank you good citizen, but I'm okay. I may be a super hero, but while I'm here I'm just a normal customer."

The grocery store employee said "Well you don't look like a normal customer."

Batman started guarding the grocery store. The other people were surprised to see Batman standing around in there. People took pictures.

The guard asked "What are you doing batman?"

Batman replied "I'm here to guard the grocery store. I think that Egghead is going to attempt to rob this good store."

The guard asked "Do you know what I am Batman?"

Batman answered "A kind gentlemen."

The guard replied "No. I'm the guard. You're not to take away my job Batman. You protect enough stuff."

Batman said "I'm not trying to take away your job. I just need to save this nice store from Egghead."

The guard replied "I'll do it. I've been the guard here since it first started 5 days ago and there hasn't been any robberies. I promise that I'll protect it from the egg freak."

Batman said "Well I respect your confidence and dedication to your job. I'll go for now, but I'll be back if you need help."

The guard proudly said "I won't need any help."

10 minutes later Egghead entered the grocery store. He threw smoke screen across the grocery store to distract the people. Egghead said "What a eggcellent crime. I'm going to take every single egg from the egg aisle. Ha, ha, ha!" The guard tried to stop Egghead. Egghead punched the guard once. The guard passed out.

Batman said "It's time to give up your crimes Egghead."

Egghead replied "No Batman. Don't even try to stop me. I'm a smart egg."

Batman replied "No Egghead. You're a rotten egg."

Egghead stated "I don't have time for your cheap attempts at stopping me Batman. I have eggs to fry."

Batman got out a batarang and said "Please don't make me throw a batarang at you."

Egghead smiled and said "If you attack me Batman I'll spill these fresh gallons of milk all over this new grocery store floor."

Batman replied "Even you wouldn't do something that evil Egghead."

Egghead giggled and said "I'm eviler than you think I am Batman and I'm going to prove that to you." Egghead opened a bunch of milk cartons and spilled the milk on the grocery store floor.

Batman was in shock that Egghead did such a nasty thing. Batman said "Your evilness is out of control Egghead."

Egghead replied "I have even more evil things than that to do. Check out my next master crime." Egghead took fresh bread out of their bags and spilled the bread on the floor. The janitor was very annoyed.

Batman said "Please don't do this Egghead. Even spilling a few things could seriously hurt the business of this high quality grocery store and the great people that work for it."

Egghead replied "Even I feel guilty for going so far, but being a villain is full of regrettable things." Egghead started grabbing cartons of eggs and said "I'll stop destroying all of the items in this grocery store if you let me take the eggs."

Batman nervously said "Okay."

Egghead smiled and replied "You're a good egg Batman." Egghead stole all of the eggs and left.

Batman drove to Commissioner Gordon's workplace and told him what happened. Commissioner Gordon said "It's okay Batman. We all mistakes."

Chief O'Hara said "I make so many mistakes that I would win a mistakes eating contest."

Batman said "My good friend, Bruce Wayne, agreed to give the new grocery store more money than all of those eggs cost so they won't lose any money."

Commissioner Gordon replied "Bruce Wayne is almost as nice as you Batman."

Batman said "Despite the grocery store's money problem being taken care of Egghead must still be captured. I'll find his hideout and take care of him."

Batman went back to the Bat Cave and started doing research t find Egghead's hideout. Alfred said "I hate to bother you Master Batman, but I saw something that I think will help you with Egghead."

Batman asked "What did you see Alfred?"

Alfred replied "On my way home I saw a hideout that was called GGE."

Batman said "That's egg spelled backwards. That does seem like a sneaky hideout for Egghead. Thank you for the help Alfred."

Alfred said "You're welcome Master Batman."

Batman stated "I'm going to go there and put his latest evil plan on the oven."

Egghead was in the GGE hideout. He was very excited about all of the eggs before. He said "That grocery store may be new, but they had more eggs than any store that I've ever seen. In fact I don't think I've ever had so many eggs. I feel like showing my appreciation to the eggs." Egghead grabbed a carton of eggs and hugged the eggs. The eggs cracked. Egghead said "I wish they made hug proof eggs. It doesn't matter, because I have so many eggs left." Egghead did a victory dance.

Batman walked into Egghead's hideout. Batman said "Your evil plan has been cracked like the eggs you love."

Egghead asked "How did you find my brilliantly well hidden hideout?"

Batman answered "Your clever tricks are C level plans at best."

Egghead asked "Are you hinting that I'm not your smartest villain?"

Batman answered "I hate to reject answering questions, but I don't think your question has much relevance in this situation."

Egghead said "You're right about that Batman. Leave me alone."

Batman replied "I would love to, but you need to pay for what you stole."

Egghead said "I couldn't do that Batman. I'm such a great villain that if I bought things instead of stealing I would be laughed at by the Joker, Penguin, Riddler, and even King Tut."

Batman thought about it and said "You seem to put a lot of thought into what villains think of you instead of being yourself. It makes me wonder why you became a villain."

Egghead said "I used to just be a big egg fanboy. Unlike most things being a fanboy of eggs is not common. In fact it's hard to find anybody that likes eggs as much as I do. As a kid I loved eggs so much that I dressed up like eggs for Halloween. The other kids were not respectful of my interests. They made fun of me constantly. I realized that the only way that people would care about and respect my love for eggs was to steal all kinds of eggs and egg merchandise."

Batman replied "Those kids should of been nicer to you, but you're not doing what you should do. You may of gained some respect from the villains, but you gained various kinds of unpopularity from all the grocery store owners and farmers that you've robbed. If you gave up crime you would gain more respect than you've ever gotten before. I promise you that."

Egghead thought about it and said "But I'm a wicked criminal. The grocery store owners, farmers, police, and other people will probably always consider me to be 1 of the evilest people in Gotham."

Batman said "People are more open minded than you think Egghead. Some people can't let stuff go, but there are lots of kind hearted citizens that would forgive you if you stopped being a villain."

Egghead spent several minutes thinking about what to do. He eventually said "I give up being a villain Batman. Now you will probably beat me up and arrest me."

Batman said "Considering that Bruce Wayne took care of the money the eggs cost you can be forgiven for the price."

Egghead replied "But I must thank you for helping me Batman. I'll let you have half of the eggs."

Batman said "That would give me a lot of free breakfasts, but I think I'll donate my half of the eggs to charity."

Egghead replied "You are quite a noble guy Batman. Thank you."

Batman said "Thank you for giving up crime and gaining a bright future."

A week later the bat phone. Batman answered it and asked "What's going on Commissioner Gordon?"

Commissioner Gordon replied "I just wanted to tell you some good news. Egghead got a job working on a farm yesterday and he didn't steal any eggs."

Batman said "That is a treat to hear. Thank you for telling me." Batman smiled.

Alfred said "You seem quite happy Master Batman."

Batman replied "It's great to be reminded to even the evilest villains can become good people. Anybody can become good and I plan on proving that forever."


End file.
